The First Month

I was so glad to leave the hospital and go home. I was in love with my baby boy and just wanted to go home and start being a mother. Spencer and I couldn't believe that this beautiful little baby was ours. We would just lay in bed and stare at him, taking in every little piece of him. We were in aw of him. It's amazing how much emotion you feel. I've never loved anyone so much. I instantly loved being a mom to Caleb.

I loved how Spencer didn't hesitate to take care of his boy. The minute he saw his baby's eyes, when he was born, Spencer had this instant feeling of needing to take care of Caleb. Spencer is not shy about fatherhood. I'm lucky that I get to hold Caleb ;)

The first month had a lot of joys and a lot of...well it was just hard at times. You are tired and you think that now the baby is out, pain should be gone from your life. But that is no true. I remember being in bed one day (probably a bit more emotional then I should have been, I blame the hormones) and saying to Spencer "I am so tired of pain, I just want to go one day where I feel comfortable and normal again." My recovery wasn't the easiest. But when I was having a really bad day, Caleb would start smiling or would be extra cute that day, and would make me feel better.

Breastfeeding was quite difficult and painful, probably didn't help that I got thrush while Caleb was still trying to learn how to latch. Talk about painful! I wanted to give up so many times. I would almost cry at times during feeding, it was so bad. But I knew how important breastfeeding is for him, so I kept at it. I kept telling myself my baby will starve if I can't breastfeed him. And then it started to get better and one day I found myself not having any issues at all. And I am so glad I stuck with it! Caleb will definitely benefit from it.

We also moved at the end of July...wow never doing that again! Moving sucks at it is, but moving right after you have a baby...never, ever again. It's not like we had a choice our lease was up and it was a one bedroom apartment. So it had to happen. But I never want to do it again. I'm just so grateful for all the friends and family who came over to help pack and move. We wouldn't have been able to do it with out you guys!

Now we are in our new place, and it's starting to feel like home. It has so much more room! We love the ward and the location. I feel really blessed how things have worked out.